Is Mario Golf or ‘real’ golf better? We solved it with MATH
The greatest advance since E=MC²
Why ‘Mario Golf: Super Rush’ makes more financial sense than playing actual golf
First, we need a benchmark.Mario Golf: Super Rushcosts$59.99.
I live in Amsterdam, so I’m going to use figures from around here. The cheapest day pass for a game of golf atthe Amsterdam Old Courseis€52.50, or$62.70. Already, Mario Golf is better value.
But let’s say I want to play once a week for a year? Well, that’s gonna set me back$3,260.40.
What about clubs though? Well, I can rent a set for$17.92(€15) a visit, which’ll work out at$931.84over a year. Or I found I can get a nice looking set from Wilson for$477.74(€400).
The latter is the cheaper option, so let’s go with that.
You might think we’re done — but you’d be wrong. Unlike Mario Golf, you have to dress like a fucking nerd when you play real golf.
Because we’re not made of time, I went back toDecathlonto put together a cheap golf outfit. A hat ($17.92), a shirt ($29.85), a bodywarmer ($47.77), golf shoes ($83.59), and a pair of trousers ($29.85) come to be$208.98.
I could include other costs in here, such as food or travel, but that seems unfair. I’ll undoubtedly spend a chunk of cash buying snacks and going to the coffeeshop in advance ofMario Golf: Super Rushsessions. Let’s just call it equal.
What we’ve ended up with is that playing “real” golf will cost about$3,947.12. This makes it 65.8 times more expensive than playingMario Golf: Super Rush.And I severely doubt it’s 65.8 times more fun.
Thanks for solving that, maths.
What about the hidden benefits of playing real golf?
I hear you: golf is about more than just money. What about the mental health benefits (+1)? Meeting people (+1)? The gentle exercise (+1)?The immersion in nature (+1)?
THAT’S FOUR WHOLE POINTS.
Mario Golf: Super Rushcan compete with that too. Video games can begood for your brain(+1).The Mario Golf title has a multiplayer mode (+1). And you canuse motion controlsif you’d like to get the blood pumping (+1).
The only thing that’s harder to simulate is the immersion in nature, but there’s a big tree right outside my window, so I think I’ve got that covered (+1).
That’s four points each: we’re tied. But let’s reverse things a little here. Who do you picture when I say Mario Golf?
It’s Mario, right? With a golf club. That, friends, is a happy picture (+1). But if I ask you to picture someone playing real golf, who comes to mind?
It’s Donald Trump. You’re currently picturingDonald Trump playing golf(-1,000,000,000). No one needs that.
So for this section, we have Mario Golf with a total offive points.And real golf withMINUS nine million, nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-six.
I think we can all agree that, with both math and rhetoric, I have proved beyond a doubt that Mario Golf is better than regular golf. Yeah, you could say that comparing a sport to its video game counterpart is childish and pointless, but maybeyou’re childish and pointless.
Anyway, there’s theMario Golf: Super Rushreview every other publication in the world is too cowardly to give you. Do with this information what you will.
(P.S.Mario Golf: Super Rushis out on the 25th June and if you like the words “Mario” and “Golf” together you’ll probably dig it).
Story byCallum Booth
Callum Booth is a freelance journalist with over a decade of experience. Previously, he was the Managing Editor of TNW, where his reporting(show all)Callum Booth is a freelance journalist with over a decade of experience. Previously, he was the Managing Editor of TNW, where his reporting was cited widely, including in VICE, the FT, and the BBC.
Callum’s writing has appeared in The Verge, The Daily Telegraph, Time Out, and many more. He covers the full spectrum of technology, with a particular focus on how it shapes our daily lives. And a lot of regulation stuff too.
Outside of work, Callum’s an avid bookworm, a Fisherman’s Friends addict, and resolutely unshaven. Follow him on Twitter @CallumBooth or visit www.callumbooth.net.
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