You need a social media cleanse — and we’re here to help
Time to focus on you
Spotting the red flags
Relationship counselors will often ask troubled couples to think about what made them happy in their relationship. Social media, for all its annoying peccadilloes, does have some redeeming features.
Throughout the pandemic, the ability to stay connected to people we can’t see in person has become incredibly valuable. Social media can also help people find their tribe, particularly if the people in their offline world don’t share their values and beliefs.
But if you can’t go a day without trawling through the sites, feeling compelled to “like” or be “liked”, your relationship is in trouble.
Though far from settled, the bulk of screen time research focuses on the detrimental effects of excessive or problematic screen use on well-being and mental health. A 2021meta-analysisof 55 studies, with a combined sample size of 80,533 people, found a positive (albeit small) association between depressive symptoms and social media use.
An important finding was that negative consequences were more likely to come from how social media use made participantsfeel, rather than how long they used it.
Information overload
In trying to understand why social media can leave us feeling less than content, we can’t look past the effect of the 24/7 news (and fake news) stream on our collective psyche.
A 2021 Deloittesurveyof Australians found 79% thought fake news was a problem, and only 18% felt information obtained via social media was trustworthy. Having to navigate content that deliberately aims to perpetuate fear and dissent only adds to people’s cognitive and emotional burden.
But here’s the rub. It seems while we’re generally concerned about technology having a negative impact on our well-being, this doesn’t translate to behavior change on an individual level.
My ownresearchpublished last year found more than two-thirds of survey participants believed excessive smartphone use can negatively impact well-being, yet individual usage was still very high, averaging 184 minutes per day. There was no relationship between the belief and the behavior.
What leads to this apparent cognitive-behavioral dissonance? The results of a long-termstudyby University of Amsterdam researchers might provide a clue. They found living in a “permanently online” world leads to decreased self-control over social media use and, subsequently, lower well-being.
In other words, we know what we’re doing might be bad for us, but we do it anyway.
Simple steps you can take
How do you know when it’s time to reevaluate your relationship with social media? There’s one deceptively simple question to ask yourself: how does it make you feel?
Think about how you feel before, during, and after you use social media. If you feel like you’re wasting large chunks of your day, your week (or, dare I say, your life) on social media – that’s a clue. If you feel negative emotions such as sadness, anxiety, guilt, or fear, you have your answer.
But if divorcing social media abruptly feels like a step too far, what else can you do to slowly break away, or potentially salvage the relationship?
- Start with a trial separation
A “soft delete” lets you see how you’ll feel without your social media before committing to a hard delete. Let friends and family know you’re taking a break, remove the apps from your devices, and set yourself a goal of maybe one or two weeks where you don’t access the account/s. If the world is still turning at the end of this trial, keep going! Once you no longer feel the pull of social media, you’ll be ready to hit delete.
- Reduce the number of platforms you engage with
If you have Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, Snapchat, WhatsApp, Tumblr, Pinterest, and Reddit on your phone, tablet, and computer, you’re probably past saturation point and into drowning territory. Pick one or two apps that genuinely serve a meaningful purpose for you, and ditch the rest. Gen X’ers find it hard to say goodbye to Facebook, but Gen Z has largelybid it farewell. If they can do it, so can you!
- If steps 1 and 2 are still too much, try to reduce your time spent on social media
First and foremost, turn off all your notifications (yes, all of them). If you’re conditioned to respond to every “bing”, you’ll find it almost impossible to stop. Set aside sometime each day and do all your social media catching up or browsing. Set an alarm for your predetermined time allocation, and when it sounds, put the phone down until the same time tomorrow.
None of this will be easy, and walking away from social media might hurt at first. But if the relationship has become uncomfortable, or even abusive, it’s time to take a stand. And who knows whatuntold happinessyou might find, beyond the four walls of your screen?
Article bySharon Horwood, Senior lecturer in Psychology,Deakin University
This article is republished fromThe Conversationunder a Creative Commons license. Read theoriginal article.
Story byThe Conversation
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